The Grammar Bitch is losing her mind

I have an English degree. A totally useless, completely unnecessary English degree. It didn’t help me get a job, and it didn’t result in more opportunities and higher pay. In fact, the only thing it did qualify me to do is to rage at people on the Internet about their grammar and spelling. Since anything written anywhere that criticizes spelling or grammar is universally obligated to have at least one spelling or grammar mistake, I’ll come clean. I abuse semi-colons. I’m unnaturally attached to sentence fragments. I’ve been known to use all caps or italics if I think it’ll properly express the level of “loud” I need to convey. Here I am, word imperfect, annoyingly pedantic, and completely judgmental. Oh, and I use the Oxford comma. Feel free to kiss my ass if that’s a problem.

There are really just so many grammar-related things that piss me off on the Internet. I’m sick of running into poor grammar, incorrect spelling, and just a total lack of giving a shit in every dark corner online. I could (and probably will at some point) blather on for pages and pages about all the stupid little things that enrage me, but for now, I’ll just start with what seems like the most common spelling fuck-up on the Internet.

Lose/Loose

“Lose” and “loose” are not interchangeable. You lose weight. You lose your keys. You lose your mind. If you aren’t a winner, you’re a loser. A screw that is not tightened is loose. A woman with questionable morals is loose. A baby tooth about to fall out is loose. “Lose” is pronounced with a “z” sound as the final consonant sound. “Loose” has an “s” sound. There’s a whole technical linguistic explanation for that, but I forgot what it is, and I’m too lazy to look it up. I see this mistake at least two or three times a day, and I just don’t get it. Really. It’s not that hard.

There are tons of great grammar resources out there that are slightly more organized than just me screaming random grammar rules at people. Some of my favorites are:

Grammar Girl
Grammar Errors
Grammarphobia

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