Grammar peeve roundup

A random collection of the correct way to say the most common grammar mistakes that piss me off. A sampling, if you will. This is in no way comprehensive, and I reserve the right to bitch about even more stuff later. The correct phrases and spellings are in bold; the common fuckups are in parentheses.

  • Blessing in disguise (not “blessing in the skies”)
  • I couldn’t care less (If you could care less, why bother telling me?)
  • Scapegoat (not “escape goat”)
  • Toe the line (not “tow the line”)
  • Fazed (if something disconcerts, disturbs, or mildly frightens you, it fazes you. It does not “phase” you)
  • Could have, should have, would have (not “could of, should of, would of”)
  • Bawl (to cry loudly is to bawl, not to “ball.”)
  • Vocal cords (not “vocal chords”)
  • For all intents and purposes (not “For all intensive purposes”)
  • A whole other. (not “a whole nother.” There’s no such thing as a nother.)
  • And, for fuck’s sake, “literally” means it actually happened or is actually true! “Figuratively” is to be used when you’re using a phrase to make a point. If your arms were “literally” falling off because the weights you were lifting were too heavy, get your ass to an ER and have that shit reattached.
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13 responses to “Grammar peeve roundup

  1. Touch base! We are touching one base, one base operational point, not touches BASES. It makes no sense for there to be multiple bases.

  2. Oh, the bawl/ball one is a serious personal pet peeve of mine, along with the infamous “irregardless”. GAH!

  3. 10 Items or Fewer. FEWER!!! If you can count the things, it’s fewer. If the quantity is indeterminate, it’s less.

  4. Yay! Can’t wait! I love your grammar slams!

  5. Don’t forget “try and”! As in, “I’m going to try and fix the lightbulb.” Really? You’re going to try to do it, and you already, magically, with your psychic powers, know that it’s going to happen? Because that’s what you just said, jackass. You’re going to try TO fix the goddamn lightbulb, idiot.

  6. Yes!! Oh lord, the phased/fazed thing irks me to no end!! I’d like to add “For all intents and purposes” … it’s not “FOR ALL INTENSIVE PURPOSES.” That doesn’t make SENSE!! And also, it’s “Hear, hear!” not “Here here!” You’re not announcing where you are, you’re telling people to listen up to what someone else said. It’s not that difficult, really.

  7. A bit confused on the “couldn’t care less” one, and don’t see how it’s gramatically wrong.

  8. But could’ve, should’ve, would’ve. 🙂

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