I hate everything about Valentine’s Day. Setting aside that it’s smack dab in the middle of February, which is my least favorite month, everything about it is just plain awful. I have no objections to the fact that it’s a “Hallmark holiday” or an attempt by the greeting card, candy, and floral industries to create yet another day where people expect gifts. Hell, if I had the power, I’d start National Cheese Fries and Chocolate Chip Cookie Day, and make sure that everyone paid proper tribute. I have no issue with the dubious origin of V-Day as a modern holiday, or the massive influence of consumerism in making it what it is today.
What I object to is everything else about it. It is the worst “holiday” ever. It sets everyone up for failure and disappointment. Single? Well, here’s a huge, obnoxious, pink and red reminder that you’re alone, and, oh yeah, why don’t you just go ahead and use this time to think about how you’re going to be alone forever, while you’re at it? Not single? Well, nothing you do (or nothing your significant other does) will be good enough, romantic enough, original enough, or over-the-top enough! Prepare for disappointment!
There’s also the small issue of the fact that, like weddings, almost everything associated with V-Day is overpriced and awful. $75 for a dozen roses? What the hell is that? I personally hate roses (the smell makes me sneeze, and they just strike me as hugely unoriginal), so I wouldn’t even spend twelve cents and some pocket lint on a dozen roses, but every guy in any kind of relationship is expected to fork out absurd amounts of money to send his sweetheart the same crappy flowers everyone else is getting. I love chocolate and candy, so I have no issue with that, but you know what I love more? Half-priced candy on February 15th. I can overlook the pink and red. Going out to dinner? I hope you’re prepared for overcrowded restaurants, terrible service, hastily cooked food, and being rushed out the door to make space for the next pair of suckers.
I’m not one of those, “I don’t need a special day for romance! I’m romantic every day!” kind of people. I’m actually sort of anti-romance, which drives my husband crazy, because he’s a romantic, thoughtful kind of guy. I think I might just be too jaded to appreciate the traditional trappings of what people tend to see as “romantic.” And since Valentine’s Day just takes all of those clichés and wraps them up into one nauseatingly pink and red package, I just stay home, watch TV, and wait for it to be over so I can enjoy my cheap chocolate.